Monday, 14 April 2014

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As unions demand that female teachers going through the menopause have extra rights in the classroom, Radhika Sanghani dreams up the allowances she'd just love to have every time she encounters that time of the month
Having period pains feels like having Rosemary's baby wrestling in your uterus
Having period pains feels like having Rosemary's baby wrestling in your uterus
By Radhika Sanghani8:00AM BST 13 Apr 2014 CommentsComments
I am no menopause expert - I probably still have around 30 years to go before I’m attacked by hot flushes, an overactive sex drive and a constant need to urinate – but it sounds pretty awful. It’s why I feel totally sympathetic to the exhausted female teachers struggling with the hormonal change and a bunch of demanding kids.
According to the National Union of Teachers, high classroom temperatures, poor ventilation, inadequate toilet facilities and long working hours are getting so bad for older female teachers that they are now calling for urgent guidance for schools on how to help them.
The move has obviously attracted criticism – ‘what? Can’t they just man up and get on with it? What about us men and our mid-life crises? How pathetic’ – but I can imagine how difficult it must be to have physical and mental changes happening to you that you can’t control.
After all, I experience the same thing every month when I get my period.
Before you moan and groan at me for bringing up the p-word, trust me I'm just as bored of it as you are. And I'm not equating periods to the menopause – I’m sure every older woman would be very unforgiving of that – but I do understand the immense frustration, misery and pain of having hormones change your entire body and personality. It’s crap.
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Now, I dont want special treatment when Venus is visiting (stand down, unions!), but I do wish:
1) I didn’t have to mouth ‘period pains’
When it feels like Rosemary’s baby is having a wrestling match in your uterus, the last thing you want to do is hide your grimace and quietly mouth ‘period pains’.
I wish I could shout out to the world that I have MY BLOODY PERIOD without people staring in disgust. But there is still a taboo about women talking openly about their periods whether we like it or not, and when you already feel the worst you have in three blissfully blood-free weeks, you might not feel up to breaking century-deep taboos.
If you’re one of the brave you can summon up your remaining haemoglobin-fuelled strength and have a loud conversation on the Tube about the changes in your blood flow, but most of us will end up just quietly mumbling something about stomach cramps.
2) There were some better phrases to use
As mentioned above, saying ‘period’ is so bold that most people can’t handle it. Which is why society has kindly given us a bunch of other phrases to use. It’s just a shame they’re all awful.
‘Time of the month’, ‘lady time’ and ‘menstrual cycle’ are all so uselessly vague that I’d rather not use them at all. None of them convey the pure misery and graphic detail that a period really is.
Honestly, I’d rather refer to it as my ‘monthly bloodbath’.
3) Tampons were cheaper
I know we’re lucky we even have tampons – some cultures are against the idea of unmarried women using them because they might break their hymen – but I’d rather spend £4.19 on a cheap bottle of red than a pack of 48 tampons. If only you could get tampon vending machines on the NHS.
But it isn’t just tampons. Most women end up also owning sanitary pads, panty liners and an extra pack of everything for their handbags. When you add Feminax into the equation, you’re looking at a good £5-£10 a month. Who knew fertility was so bloody expensive?
4) Periods would sort out their schedules

I never know when my period is arriving. Whenever I admit this to my friends, the female-traitors amongst them cry out in surprise: “Seriously? But, you’ve had it for over 10 years now.”
Well, either my period is just irregular and out to spite me, or I’m really bad at math. I’m inclined to believe it is a combination of the two, but the general result is that I never know when the damned thing’s coming. Result? Lots of trips to M&S for new underwear.
5) It was OK to carry tampons
Whenever I want to carry some kind of menstrual equipment to the toilets at work, I have to either slip them into my cardigan sleeve or bring my entire bag. Seeing as I rarely wear clothes with pockets because apparently working women don’t need on-body storage, it means a five-minute strategy to figure out how to get to the loo with products in hand.
Seeing as I’ll already be flitting to the loo far more often than I normally do, this makes for a pretty time consuming exercise during those five sad days.
6) Bloating was en vogue
We’ve seen skinny models, normal–sized models and even some plus-size models. But we have never seen bloated models.
This is a shame primarily because it makes me feel like bloating is unsexy, unattractive and unfeminine. Unfortunately, I also bloat whenever I have my most feminine of moments: my period.
Seeing as this happens every month (when it’s feeling regular) it would be handy if fashion magazines could start promoting it as a positive look. After all, when your face, hair and skin all look worse than they did during the dreaded puberty years, you need something to cheer you up and encourage you to eat that entire chocolate cake.

Period pains can reduce women’s attention spans and make them “slightly slower or slightly less accurate”, according to psychologists.
Women who are experiencing menstrual pains will also be less able to switch between multiple tasks, the University of Bath’s Department of Psychology found.
The study, which claims to be the first of its kind to look at the effects of period pains on cognitive performance, asked 52 women to complete computer-based tasks when they were not on their menstrual cycle and then when they were.
When women had period pains, they were found to have a lower performance rating overall as they struggled with a range of attention-based jobs such as choosing between competing targets and dividing their attention between two tasks.
Dr Ed Keogh, who led the study, said: “I think the most interesting thing that we found is that this sort of common, everyday pain does have an effect on performance.
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“We found across all these tasks a general dampening of performance. They [women who were menstruating] were slightly slower or slightly less accurate then when they’re not in pain.
“This shows that the effects of pain go beyond the sensory experience, affecting what we think and feel."
The research, published in the journal Pain, shows that the effects of period pain are often overlooked and poorly understood.
Dr Keogh said it highlights the need for more research in this field to measure women’s existing coping strategies for period pain and to work on developing them to remove pain as a barrier to performance.
“If you understand what effects they have then you can try and do something about it,” he said. “We can do more research and look at how common is it? What about everyday tasks? How do people actually cope with it?
“I suspect they can cope with it very well and find their ways of dealing with it.”
He said some existing strategies that women use involve distracting themselves with TV or music, which can be helpful, as well as catastrophising the pain and worrying about it, which is not an effective coping strategy.
Period pain, or dysmenorrhea, affects more than 40 per cent of women on a regular basis. It is the leading cause of absenteeism from school and work among women in their teens and 20s.
Symptoms can include pain, nausea, and cramping, and up to 15 per cent of women suffering from such pain have reported it to be severe.

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Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers
Fitness Tips For Women Male Fitness Model Motivation Model Workout Tumblr Before And After Diet Competition Quotes Back Body Photos Images Wallpapers

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